Face Your Fears February- Commitment and the Gee Willikers No-Animal-Product Lent

Commitment. That's scary. 

But, why?

Okay, I think I may have figured it out this month. Which is good because it's Face Your Fears February. Commitment implies something solid and concrete. Something with boundaries and parameters. Something that can't be blurred or blended. If it's a commitment, it's happening. 

Yikes.

For someone like me who likes spend a lot of time in the gray area where it's easy to blend and blur and leave doors open for escape, failure and excuses, commitment is somewhat terrifying.

Unknowingly, in committing to 46 (now only 44!) days of not eating animal products and not cussing and also by committing to running in a 10k in May, I am facing that fear head on. And, it is kind of scary.

So it turns out that going without animal products (I would use the term Vegan here-which it actually is- but it seems that many people equate vegan with bleeding-heart liberal hippie communism, so I'll just keep saying "no animal products") and no cussing and driving to work do not go hand-in-hand. Especially on the first day when trying to figure everything out. 

I actually probably cussed more than normal on the first day because I would say something, realized I cussed and then cuss that I cussed. Don't get me wrong, my normal speech patterns aren't generally that of a character from Scarface or anything, but it's something I just wanted to get in the habit of not doing. I also realized that there are no other words on the earth as versatile as those words. I mean, really. The same word can be a noun a verb and an adjective ALL IN THE SAME SENTENCE! But there is such a thing as too much of a good thing and so this will (as best as possible) cease for at least the next 44 days. Commitment. 

The eating is not as difficult as I thought and I actually weirdly feel better. But I have a feeling I will be jonesing for a cheeseburger pretty quickly and will be forced to honor my commitment by yelling words that are not as versatile as the ones I would like to use.

And for the running. This is perhaps the most scary for me. I was the kid in middle school who was in the back with the special-ed kids when running the mile. In fact, I'm pretty sure they were faster than I was even when they ran for a little bit in the wrong direction (true story). I've never been competitive, never had endurance for running and also never given to trying because I always expect to get over it and fail. 

A 10K is 6.4 miles. I have committed to run 6.4 miles without dying. For most people this is not a big deal. For me this is HUGE. It's not something I can do at the last minute, but something I have to COMMIT to work toward and train for. And the evidence of my efforts will be obvious (for the good or the bad) at the completion of the race. And there is always the chance that I could fail. SCARY.

However, running this race was inspired by someone who I love bigger than the moon. He has fought to regain each step, each word, and each smile. He is a pint-sized hero who reminds me that, if we fight for it in God, we can do anything. 

COMMITMENT. 

What are you afraid of committing to? There's less than a week left in Face Your Fears February. DO IT!