Dare to Keep Dreaming December: Risk is the Answer

            As the Year of Dreams 2012 comes to a close, I have been processing how to keep Dreaming in 2013. After much contemplation, it seems to essentially boil down to one thing: Risk.

No, not that one. 

            Risk is scary. It requires us to step out of our comfort zones and into the unknown. It means we can get hurt. It means we can become confused. It means things can get difficult. And it means we can fail.

            These things paralyze us from even leaving our front door. Visions of past failures and past pain keep us from taking any action outside the confines of our “safety” box. It’s probably very cozy and warm in there, but here’s the thing: you’re probably not being super effective and you may be robbing yourself from a Great Adventure that God is calling you on.  This can be anything from field trips, relationships, going after a goal, or even trying something new. Why not?

            Here are a just few reasons why it is actually safe to take the risk of Daring to Dream in 2013:

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy  31:6

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

Trusting God can seem like a risk. But He always knows what he’s doing. Both in the Bible and in my own life experience, God has been the only one who has never let me down. Yes, there were times that I didn’t understand why I had to experience some things. Yes, there was pain. But, it was used for good.

            One benefit of trusting and believing God is the redemption of sucky situations. There is a lot of pain in the world. You will get hurt. However, if you are open to it, God will use your hurts and pains to help you grow into the person you were meant to be. Otherwise, you carry all of those burdens on your own back and get tired. And sore. And, sometimes, it can feel pretty hopeless.

And you could end up like this guy.

      

      This is part of the reason why we as humans do our best to avoid pain. We are pretty much physiologically programmed to keep away from it. As modern humans, we are programmed to avoid anything uncomfortable or difficult.

            I’ve been watching an interesting series on the History Channel called “Mankind: The Story of All of Us”. The show chronicles all of the achievements of mankind since the discovery of fire, all the way through the modern technology of today. Each victory in battle, in discovery and in invention all starts with someone willing to step out of their comfort zone and take a risk.

Funnily enough, they forgot this invention. 

            2012 has been a year of risks for me. I began with jumping out of a plane. Then I set a goal in a sport that I’m not very good at where I could have failed pretty hard. Then I took to the continent of Europe with nothing but a rucksack, a plan(ish) and a dream. I made deeper connections with people. I interviewed for a job that I thought I wasn’t qualified for. I dreamed.

            For the first time in my life I trusted God enough to leave the Shire and go on an adventure. And it was good. I faced some trolls, some danger and some dragons. But it was good. I have grown in more ways than I can count and am inching closer to being the woman that God has created me to be.

I'm going on an adventure in 2013!

And it’s nice to know that I’ve always got the Shire to come back to.

The applause is nice, too. 

Here’s to the adventures of 2013! Happy New Year Everyone!

The Year of Dreams 2012: Dare to (Keep) Dream(ing) December

 Looking back to the very first post in this blog, I can see that I've chronicled a pretty productive 12 months. It's amazing what a difference a year can make. This time in 2011, I was rounding up the most difficult year of my life.  It was a year where God did some very deep ploughing in my heart. I didn't understand it and, in my own childish perspective, could only focus on the immediate pain of my circumstances. But God always knows what He's doing. He used and directed the most difficult circumstances of my most difficult year to break through the Great Wall of China that I had built around my heart. 

The following is a poem that I wrote a few months ago that may (or may not) shed a little light on what I'm talking about:

Despite me you have restored me

You have poured into me this spring of life

That wets my tongue parched by the dry heat of the world,

So  that I can sing your praises 

Trapped in a chain of lies disguised by reason

I ran away from your plan

Away  from your hand that had committed treason against my logic

Whispers of the enemy grew louder 

And I cradled them for comfort

In my arms they burned me,

They turned me into an enemy of myself

Wearing the armor of worthless of victim of hopeless and of hell.

In my  self righteous rage I called out to you from my cage of fire

And you answered.

Protected and covered in your blood  

you dragged me through the part of hell that was hot enough to melt away the chain around my heart

The chain that was tearing me apart, causing my soul to sputter and choke

And In your arms we left that terrible place

On our skin not even a trace 

of smoke lingers

My sin, once again, crossed out by the one that the cross tells about

You broke into my heart to get me out of the pit

bit by bit you're still tearing down walls,

preparing me to heed the calls of others 

still stuck in the muck and stuck in the mire, 

hearts burning with the fire of pain and dispair 

instead of burning with the love and hope

that comes from knowing you are there 

You have used the flames of the enemy to melt the chains of the chosen

The eyes of my heart, once frozen in an eternal winter, have been warmed and melted into spring. 

Finally it is learning to sing the song of glory for the one who has transformed my story of pain into a weapon that can take down giants. 

Though I stumble and falter through each day

Your way is clear to me now, even in the shadow of death.

Where there once was a chain constricting the flow of your blood to my heart, 

there is now only air. 

For the chain, like death, has been defeated.

It is not there.

2012 was the first year that I entered with a "chainless" heart. How could it not have been a year of dreams? 

And I have decided not to put a time limit on Dreams. I have decided to Dare to Keep Dreaming in 2013. I've got a sneaky feeling that this adventure that I have been put on has only just begun. I don't know what God has in store, but I'm excited for the journey. 

See you in the Misty Mountains of 2013! 

NEGU November: Not Giving Up, Even When Things are Difficult

Well....It's been a while. I think the last time I updated on the Year of Dreams, I was up a Tuscan mountainside talking religion with some friendly Italians. 

I have no idea how to pronounce that. 

I'm back now. I've been back for almost three months and was almost knocked out of the stream of the dream. You see, life is difficult - even when you are living your dreams. And when you're in between dream objectives, it can be even harder.

Thanks for the encouragement, Mr. Wayne.

I got caught in a slump. I think part of it is the normal "young adult oh man I'm graduated and on my own and back from an adventure and have to figure out life", but another part was something more. Without going into detail, I was basically hit with a succession of circumstances that put me in a state where it was hard to even keep my head up. In that state, old lies and insecurities sprang up. These situations usually cause a person to become focused on themselves- or, as someone wise once described it "you become and inward spiral, and not an outward one". This time was no exception. 

Spirals can get messy. 

Throughout that time, if someone mentioned or asked about the year of dreams, I would kind of shrug my shoulders and think "Well, maybe next year I'll get further than July." I was passively giving up on something I started. I was basically letting go of and forfeiting all the lessons that I learned this year. I wasn't being a dreamer.

And then I had a conversation with someone closest to my heart. A nearly-seven-year-old hero who's fighting difficult circumstance after difficult circumstance and still daring to dream: 

We were hanging out in a back room after church and I was sitting around on a giant teddy bear when I was attacked. Apparently I had become the bad guy in a game I didn't know I was playing. Being in the lame state I was, I didn't attack back as usual. Instead, I pleaded.

"Come on, bud, be nice to me today. I had a rough week."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, then..."

He then proceeded to attack again, this time with more fervor.

"Dude, I'm serious! I'm super bummed right now, be nice to me."

"Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Snap out of it, you hear me?!?"

I couldn't help but smile.

"See," he said. "You're going to be all right." 

Then he grabbed my hand and said "Come on, get up! You're not done yet," and proceeded to drag me to the beanbag where he delivered a WWF style smackdown. 

Maybe the teddy bear helped a little, too.

I didn't think about how profound that was until later. There I was moping about my circumstances next to this kid whose every week is filled with doctor's offices and physical therapists and chemotherapy- trials far beyond the capacity of many to even fathom, yet you'd never know it by the way they are navigated and walked through by him and his family.

And here he was, grabbing my hand, telling me to snap out of it, telling me I'm going to be okay and that I'm not done yet. Now, I realize he is only six and half and what he was saying had more to do with making it okay for him to attack me again than delivering a profound and deep encouragement, but I think there's still something there. 

Life is hard. That's a fact. It's harder for some than others. However, that's not to say that each struggle isn't relative or valid. Just because what you are facing may not be cancer, it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt or isn't significant. But, it does help to offer a little perspective. 

Welcome to the OC.

And, the fact is, if you're still here, you're not done. And if you don't get up, you'll miss out on opportunities to be effective and will most certainly miss out on your purpose and your dream. However, sometimes it does take a friend to grab our hand and remind us not to give up.

And show you the world (shining, shimmering, splendid). 

This month in the Year of Dreams is NEGU November. NEGU stands for Never Ever Give Up and is an incredible organization started by a young girl who was terminally ill with cancer. In an unspeakable act of selflessness while in the hospital , she wanted to come up with a way to encourage other kids in her situation to Never Ever Give Up. She wanted to take a jar and fill it with joyful things and send it to kids in the hospital, reminding them to NEGU. Although she is no longer walking the earth and has gone on to her Home, she left behind an incredible legacy in her short life. She faced a terrible circumstance and used it to bless others. 

To learn more about NEGU and the amazing young woman who inspired it, or to contribute to this incredible project,  visit         http://www.negu.org/.   

So there you have it. The Year of Dreams continues on, even when things get tough. The Year of Dreams will NEGU. What about you? 

Journey Through July: A Conversation About Church in a Little Cafe in Tuscany

I've been MIA for a while, as I am Journeying Theough July by living out my dream of backpacking around Europe. It began with two friends and fellow travellers and I will describe some of our amazing adventures and people we met at a later time.


 I have been travelling solo for two days now and am finding pleasant surprises around every corner. Yesterday I hiked over a mile straight up a Tuscan mountain and had lunch with an entire community of Italian mountain people. A man in a loin cloth made us all pasta then proceeded to use milk from a passing goat to make goat cheese. More on that some other time...


Anyway, I was without a journal when I wanted to keep record of a conversation I had with a young guy in Tuscany. It seemed to reflect the attitude and feeling towards church in this area and (from many conversations I've had with people on this trip) of Europe in general. Since I was without my journal, I clicked it all out on my iPhone (which is all I have in terms of technology and communication until I get home and how I am posting now). The conversation was interesting ( to me, at least) in terms of cultural perceptions of Church, so I thought I'd share:


Here I  am on a Tuscan mountainside in a little town where nobody speaks English. At the mercy of kind strangers I am being fed pastries and cappuccinos and find myself telling them about churches in the US.  Many of them have told me that they have never heard of God outside of ritual and strict authority. 


"You don't seem like a Catholic," one man said.
"I'm not a Catholic."
"But you believe in God."
"Yes."
"And Jesus."
"Yes."
"And you go to church?"
"Yes."
"And it's not bullsh** to you?"
"Nope."
"Tell me about your church then."


 I begin to describe people I love. People who love and care for each other even when they don't always get along. I talk about kids growing up with a community where they know they are loved, by God and through people. I talk about going through life rubbing elbows with people who are bonded by a commitment to and a deep love for God who support each other through life. 


 "Okay, but tell me about your church."
"That is my church."
"No, but what is your church. Like the rules and the stuff."
"The rules? Uhh...I dunno. Love other people as much as you love yourself and love God more. I guess those are the rules."
 "Okay, but what about like 'no killing, no bad things, no stealing, no lots of drugs, no sex on new peoples- stuff like that?"
"Oh. Uh..well I guess when you experience what comes out of the loving part all the other stuff just doesn't seem fun anymore and doesn't really fit in your heart. There's no space for it, I guess."
"Hmm. Interesting idea."
"Thanks, but I'm not sure I came up with it." 
"Still a good one. You want another cappuccino?"
"Absolutely."

Jetting to Joy When Your Flight is Cancelled

I've spent a lot of time in airports these last couple of days. Flying internationally on a stand-by ticket is filled with crazy inconsistency and, when your focus is solely on an exciting trip ahead, it can turn joy to misery if you are not careful. Yesterday painted a vividly coloured metaphor for life. After finally getting on a flight to Washington DC, we were listed for, then bumped off, then listed for and cancelled on more than one flight.  Finally, at around 11:30 pm, we were sent to a 4 hour customer service line. It took about an hour just to collect my bag (which was checked on a flight from LA that I got bumped off of at the last minute).  With 2 days of no sleep, I still thought the situation was semi-poetic. There we all were, clinging to our baggage, exhausted, and waiting for frazzled gate agents to change our situations so that our lives can be better. Many people were vocally refusing to be consoled and cursing their situations and cursing the people there to help them. They were upset that they were not receiving immediate help or compensation they thought they deserved. They forgot that there were 600 people in the same boat as they were. They lost sight of the shore and gave into panic. Okay, maybe that was just me.  But, think about it. How many times in our lives do we "board a plane" with happiness and expectation as a destination and end up with a layover in defeat? And how many times during that layover do we only focus on ourselves and begin cursing everything (or maybe just at everything) that isn't making us feel comfortable? How many times do we cling even tighter to our baggage and desperately look to unqualified people to improve our situation so we can feel better?  When the truth is, there is joy in every airport. Although, in some airports, it might be in a terminal that's far away and so will take some work to get to. In the Dulles airport, it's in a very distant terminal. But it's there. After a night in a hotel room bed having finally gotten some sleep (thanks, mom and aunt Jenny!) we were able to regroup and pray. Pray that we get on a flight, pray for peace, and give thanks for the opportunity to even be on a trip. It gave us a chance to realize what's important in life (because once you start thanking God for things, you usually get back to the cross which puts everything in perspective). The frustration and headache is still real and still there, but there is joy in knowing that we are not in control and that the one who is in control knows how badly we want to get to our destination and always knows what's best for us. Who will be with us in every airport and gives good gifts to his kids. This all shifts perspective.  As for us now, we are stuck in a really cool city where a good friend of mine lives and has offered to be a refuge if we get stuck again. Worst case scenario is time with a good friend in our nation's Capitol.  Not too shabby. Here's to Jetting to Joy this June. Good luck with catching your flight! 

Jet to Joy June: Choosing Joy

In general, it seems that we are a people of reaction. We jump to action or inaction quickly based on an occurrence or event. Something happens that makes us feel a certain way, so we then view the world in that way, which causes us to make decisions based on that view until something else happens to change it.

I can't even count the times I've left my place in a good mood- sunglasses on, a good song playing on the radio, the world as my oyster: an amazing place full of God's grace and mercy- Life is good. Thoughts of hope and goodness filling my mind as I prepare for a good day. Then, suddenly - POP! - the bubble is burst immediately by heavy traffic, erratic drivers (not me, of course) and the rude clock that wants to shove how late I am in my face. Suddenly, life is chore. Nothing is stable. To-do lists to check off, broken relationships and fears flood my mind instead. The world is hard.

Sadly, this picture has been all-to-real in my life. This year has been a little bit different. Well...most of the time. You see, the truth is this: The world really IS hard. There will always be traffic and there will always be hardships. LAME. But the good news is that God has seen it and overcome it already. NOT LAME.

Thanks, Jesus!

I found this really cool Lion King rock that jutted pretty far out into the ocean in Laguna beach the other day. After singing a few rounds of "Ahhhhhh sabenia badadisimamo", I just stood on the rock and stared at the water. I was full of joy. 

 It was kind of a grey day and the water was choppy. The tide was pretty high and the waves crashed right up to the rock on all sides. It occurred to me that I was in the ocean. That I was right in the middle of these turbulent waters, but I was untouched (except maybe by the occasional ocean spray) and I was totally secure as long as I stayed standing on the rock.

It was a cool, real life picture of Truth. 

I guess it's just the circle of life, right?

Our circumstances and emotions change at the drop of a hat and the push of a button. They are inconsistent and, often times, turn out to be liars.  Like the waves, they can be turbulent and choppy. However, if we are standing on the Rock, then we are able to be stable and secure and have joy right in the middle of them. 

The trick is choosing to acknowledge it. I find that I often forget about the Rock and only see the water. Instead of choosing Joy, I'm tricked into actually jumping into the water of my troublesome circumstances a lot of the time. I get rocked and tossed, then somehow claw my way back onto the Rock. I have to purpose myself to choose Joy- to actively choose to focus on God's truth and grace and all that has been done for me. I have to fight for peace. And it's exhausting. But , as time goes by, it seems to get a little easier to get out of the water. It's work, but it's worth it.  Always.

Since it's Jet to Joy June, I encourage you to try to choose joy this month. The next time your mind is overwhelmed with your circumstances and you feel yourself shifting into a low gear, I encourage you to try to choose joy. To focus on even one good thing God has done for you. And repeat it to yourself over and over if you have to. Even if your circumstances stink, you can choose to cling to the rock of Truth and find some joy there. 

Here's a thought to get you started....

Good luck as you Jet to Joy this June.

Jet to Joy June: Jetting to a Dream

So the thing is, when you are out trying to make things matter, you lose track of time and, all of the sudden, it is Jet to Joy June.

May was a great month. When you begin to try and make each moment significant, it's amazing what sort of things fade to the background. I watched a lot less television (well, Netflix anyway) and spent more time with more people. I also forced myself to get off of my behind and try to get organized.

Phew! I'm glad that's over! Time to hit the Hulu queue!

Being focused and productive for things that matter can be frustrating and our circumstances can make them even more so. Finding joy in the midst of all of it is a battle, but a battle worth fighting. 

This month is Jet to Joy June in the Year of Dreams.  It is a month where, despite circumstances, joy is what will be [attempted to be] chosen. 

For me, this may be easier than some. This month (16 days to be exact) I will be jetting to Europe for a two-month long adventure. 

In case you didn't know, this is Europe.

When I was 15 years old, I dreamed of traveling to the places I learned about in history. Having visited my grandparents in Kenya when I was 10, then later visited them in Costa Rica in my teenage years, I developed the travel bug pretty early. Exploring new places and new cultures was kind of an obsession. 

At 18, I went on a mission trip to Mexico and made a new friend, who quickly became one of the closest I'll ever have. We clicked immediately and began talking of the travel adventures we would one day have together. At 18 years old,  I began a Euro-trip bank account. An external savings account that paid a little more than average interest and would take three days for me to get any money out of it (preventing me from frivolous spending). The account spent most of it's life with under a $500 balance that would get depleted for car maintenance or college textbooks or lab fees...etc...) and replenished when I'd get an extra babysitting job or with Christmas money. 

And then it grew.  I set a tentative date for "the summer after I graduate college". Well, that summer is here and, a couple of weeks ago, I transferred all of the money from that account into my main checking account and began booking hostels and transportation. 

It's happening.

The very friend I shared a bunk bed with, cracking jokes and dreaming of traveling Europe with 7 years ago will be my travel-buddy for half of the trip. We will be joined by another mutual friend, making it even more fun.

Not to mention, God has been opening doors for this trip all over the place. The power of Global Community is being witnessed through the planning of this trip. Friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, and even safe and helpful strangers have generously opened up their homes to give us a place to stay in many of the cities we are visiting. 

And so here is the itinerary 16 days out:

June 22-28: South Germany

June 28-July 4: South England (the third of our trio meets us here)

July 4- July 20: Driving a Rental Car throughout Northern England, Scotland, and throughout Ireland (after a ferry ride), then back to London via Wales - Staying with friends, friends of friends, couchsurfing and in a cabin or treehouse at a protest site.

July 20-24: Rome (both of my travel companions fly back to the US on the 24)- Couchsurfing

July 24-30: Florence- staying at a Camping Hostel

July 30-Aug 2: Vienna - Couchsurfing

Aug 2-4: Salzburg - Hostel

August 4-10: Paris- Couchsurfing and Friend

August 10-13: Bruges - Couchsurfing

August 13-16: Amsterdam - Hostel 

Two months. One dream. 

It will be easy to Jet to Joy this June.

Hopefully it will not be too difficult for you, either.